Freaking Friday

Everywhere I turned there were mobs of vicious grandmas plundering mass quantities of overpriced trinkets on sale.  A torrent of mothers nearly knocked me over as they barreled past to snatch the last disc of Battlefield 3.  When I heard the voice over the loudspeaker announce a flash sale on televisions, it suddenly dawned on me.  I was in the path.  Quickly dodging behind an underwear clad mannequin, I poised for the hurricane.  Loud, indiscernible shouts rang out as I peered out from behind my plastic fortress to see several groups of pillagers stampede past.  It was a close call, but I survived.  What a thrill it is to begin the Season of Joy at Wal-Mart.  Peace to all who survive.