Candidates Giving Fingers

Let’s cut off some fingers for the good of the country.  “What?” you ask, “are you insane?”  Perhaps, but that’s another issue.  As I listen to presidential hopefuls speak about the country, I want to know two things.  Candidates, here are your questions:

First, what vision do you have for the country?  You are not allowed to use platitudes without specific references.  There are no sound bite moments for you here.  How will this country look if you get your way in the next four years?  What will be different?  What will remain the same?  If you give a single platitude without being able to back it up with a specific plan, we will chop off a finger.  Don’t worry, if you forget, we will remind you, so there will not be any “gotcha” moments.  We are not seeking digits, merely the truth.  Also, you may refer negatively to your opponent's plan in your answer, but if you do not give a solid counter-plan, we take a finger.  Be careful.

Second, what have you done to prove you are the right person for the office of president?  Did you fix something that was broken?  What leadership experience do you have?  Did you ever oversee a project that came to fruition and exceeded expectations?  Can you speak honestly or do you have anything to hide?  

We don’t care if you drank heavily in college or even if you said stupid things twenty years ago that you wished you could take back.  Be real.  If we catch you lying about things, we won’t trust you and must therefore take a finger.  If you tell openly, we will trust you because we are sick of the witch hunts and character assassinations.  We just want a good leader for our country, not a perfect person.  Perhaps your imperfection might even impress us to think you are like us.

OK, with these two simple requirements in mind, let’s begin.  I see that both candidates are more than willing to give us the finger.