Friday, March 9, 2012


In every heart there are secrets.  Some are simple things that when shared would simply be too much information.  I cannot remember the number of times that I wished my roommates in college would have kept their "awesome" bowel movements a secret.  Then there are the ones that are hidden deep.  These are the hidden thoughts that we do not share with anyone because they are either too dark or embarrassing to ever admit.  We hold these deep inside and fear they will surface in our weakest moments.  Our secret thoughts alienate us from those around us who we fear will come to know our dark side.

It is amazing how liberating it is when someone else shares that they have the same thoughts.  As soon as they admit their secret, we find ourselves suddenly able to walk upright and no longer despair.  It is not that we have permission to hold on to anger or bitterness.  This is no license to contemplate hurting people and dwell on inflicting damage.  Instead, it shows us that our thoughts are simply human and therefore something we can discuss with those we trust.
Ah, there is the rub.  Who can we trust?  What if I told you that I have a secret desire to rob a bank?  I do not, but what if I did?  Would you tell someone?  Of course not, right?  Yet how many of us have told a secret to someone under the guise of sharing anonymous information or said "Now this is just between us, but so-and-so said...?"  The person we told that secret knows one thing for sure.  They can never trust us with THEIR hidden thoughts if we were loose with another's.
So we hold in our secrets until they burn into our hearts, reek havoc on our nerves, or lead us to act on them.  Is there a solution?  I suppose the only way is to hold close that which is shared with us so that we may find someone who honors their trust in us to extend to us the same honor.  Isn't that the core of true friendship?

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