Monday, January 9, 2012

Chain Jerking

Al Pacino's famous line in Godfather III was "just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in."  It's amazing how often that can be the case in life.  Young adults leave home only to find they are drawn into family arguments over the phone or email.  Others leave their unhappy workplace, but get calls from former co-workers needing to vent.  Sometimes moving is easy, but other times, it's quite difficult.

I see this too often with young persons and their relationships.  They break up, try to move on, and begin healing.  Just when they thought they were out, the other party, usually the one who instigated the break-up, pulls the other back in.  This rarely works out and causes even more pain.  Instead of moving on and healing, the injured party lets the other back in only to have their heart stomped upon.  It's sad to see this, because it often tears apart what little self-respect the injured party had left.

Unfortunately there is no easy answer for those who feel the repeated pain of break-up.  It's easy on the outside to tell them not to go back in, but they see the reunion as an answer to all the prayers into their tear-drenched pillows.  In spite of sound advice, they move right into the path of the oncoming train of sorrow.  The rip in their hearts is even worse now as the bandage of new hope is yanked away.

If you have broken up with someone, think twice about getting back together.  You may do more damage than good.  If this has happened to you, do not blame yourself or decide there is something wrong with you.  They came back because you are worth being with.  It was their inability to maintain a healthy relationship that caused the break-up.  You are worthy of someone who will love you securely, treat you with respect, and appreciate who you are.  Do not spend your time pining for someone incapable of giving you what you need.  Instead, pray for someone who will be there at your side though all circumstances.

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